We may not all have long hair, but most gentle mamas are hippies at heart. And being the proud owner of both long hair and sad armpits, you owe me an OBE in this shit. I tick all the hippie boxes. Including the all-consuming urge to travel around the world. With my baby strapped to my back in something that used to be tie dye. Know the feeling?
Well because I’m not one of the trust funded Insta-mums you hate-follow, I can’t afford to do that. I’ve got mortgage, dog and baby to keep sweet. So other than dream, here are some ways I’m pretending to be a real hippie mama.
- I’m planning an elaborately free-spirited road trip adventure in Europe or Africa that probably won’t happen cus I’m busy adding black-out blinds to my 30-strong open browser tabs. That shit takes all night man.
- Me and partner have been talking about getting a beautifully cliche VW camper van for the last five years but they’re too inefficient and expensive to replace our 2-door VW granny mobile. Watch this car park space tho, 4reals.
- I go on about eating a local, healthy, almost vegan diet. In reality when it’s my turn to cook we replace the Blinds2go tab with JustEat and fall into an MSG coma in front of the Netflix welcome page.
- Same as above for my baby. But instead of take aways, packets. All the packets.
- Plan to spend my daughter’s first summer and my possibly only ever maternity leave slash gap yahhhh hopping from festival to festival in a purple haze of £7 falafals and £x-rated rare vinyl. Reality is apparently I “moan too much when we go camping” so we got a couple of £x-rated festival day tickets. Far out man.
- Capitalist, shallow, sexist, consumerist society bad. Depop good tho.
Are you a free spirit or a fail spirit? Contact us to share your stories or tag your festival mama pics on Insta with #WokeMamas so we can hate-follow. 😀
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