Woke Mama: Demi

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Name & age: Demi, 23

Baby: Elijah, 2 years

What does being a woke mama mean to you?

“Woke” for me, means being aware that there is something greater than you out there. It means understanding that you do not know it all and never will.

Woke for me means consciously checking myself, and re-checking myself. Woke means forgiving myself for making mistakes. It means reminding myself that I am only human.

Being a woke mama allows me to understand that I do not own my child. He is his own being, who passed through me to teach me some of life’s greatest lessons.

For me, being a woke mama means being aware enough to learn from your child. Being patient and doing every act out of love.

What made you choose gentle parenting? And what is your favourite aspect of it?

I choose gentle parenting because my child is wise beyond his years even without being able to use his words. When I am present, he teaches me things.

Learning from my child is my favorite part of gentle parenting. I think that people get caught up in the fact they are so little and we gravitate to this idea that they are helpless, but they are born with so much knowledge, and allowing them to express themselves and communicate at a young age makes all the difference.

Most awesome moment so far?

Hearing my son say “sorry” on his own. He amazes me on the regular.

Biggest struggle so far? How do you cope with stressful moments?

My son is 2 years old so he is becoming more independent each day. I find that is the biggest challenge; allowing him to have his own opinion and do things on his own.

I still see him as my little baby and I get frustrated when he doesn’t listen. I find myself wanting to yell, but I always take a deep breath and ask myself: why am I so angry at him? He is just following his heart — and his heart is telling him to run around and be free.

I always speak to him in a regular tone, and explain why I say the things I say. I get looks when I speak to him like an adult. People assume he doesn’t understand me, but I know he does. We sit and chat, and we always hug it out in the end.

How do you juggle work with gentle parenting?

I am back to work now, and it hasn’t affected us too much. He is in day care during the day and we still co-sleep at night. I haven’t noticed any major changes as yet.

Any advice you would give to new mums?

Be kind to yourself and accept the help when offered. You deserve rest and you deserve time to replenish your heart and soul.

You can follow Demi on Instagram and read her blog on black motherhood DemiMotherland.com

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