Shout out to all the single mamas

Written by Farrah

A shout out to single mums, from one.

You never get the recognition you deserve, I hear that. You do everything for your kid(s), and don’t get the praise you deserve from a partner, let alone from society, and sometimes it’s hard to even get it from your own family.

You’re often told that you made the choice to be a single parent and, you have to concede, that in some way you did, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a real shitfest at times. That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to complain about it.

Most of the time it’s pretty great, you get to enjoy your kid(s) all by yourself, and all their triumphs are your triumphs, and you don’t have to share with anybody else. When your kid(s) are great people, that will be down to you. But sometimes you just want a break, some help, a rest.

You watch other women suffer through all sorts of things that maybe you have too – losses, and such – but you watch them held and propped up by their partners, you watch them remembered on Mother’s Day with little cards and gifts, you watch their children (living and not) remembered on birthdays, and you’re there doing it all on your own.

It can be fucking lonely.

You’re irritated when people complain about their lot in life, because, you know what? They have help. You don’t. You don’t get to take five. You, who needs all the help you can get, doesn’t often get it. Because this was your choice remember (bollocks).

If you had a pound for the amount of times you’ve been told to find a boyfriend, or a husband, or told you should have waited, or something along those lines, you could live like a Queen.

But you know what? You’re doing great, and we’ve got each others backs because we have to. You’re doing something that’s hard by anyone’s standards, not just hard, torturous at times. You’re sleep deprived and you’re frustrated, and you’re trying to keep it together for the kid(s) and trying to make sure they grow up into great people.

You’re doing that on your own, and that’s something to be applauded.

It’s fucking tough but you’re doing it. You’re doing it and you deserve a thousand rounds of applause.

People easily look down on you, assuming you got yourself into that situation, as if most of us had a choice (SO to the patriarchy and ingrained misogyny there), but you have every right to moan and complain.

Fuck everyone else. They don’t get to decide what you’re allowed to be upset about. Judging is much easier when you’ve had a full nights sleep.

Parenting is hard in every way imaginable, but it’s harder when you’re on your own.

Some people may think you’re clingy, or desperate, but you’ve got your shit together better than they have. You’ve no need to rely on anybody else.

Don’t forget your worth: a thousand times more than anybody that would think badly of you.

By Farrah. Originally posted on SomethingRosier.com

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