Written by Kelly
I’ve been meaning to write this blog for some time. But it’s only now after my baby is nine months in and nine out that I’m finally getting around to it.
Nothing teaches you the importance of time like becoming a mother.
Even while writing this, my son is sleeping and I only have a small window of time before he wakes and I’ll tend to him or nurse him. Time is so apparent for me these days.
There is a theory that time is actually speeding up – and it sure feels that way. I mean think back to your school summer: six week holidays. That seemed to go on forever!
Now it’s flying by, as I watch my boy grow and learn new skills each day… I’m amazed. Physically too, I swear his head is growing by the minute!
From the moment I wake to the moment I sleep, I am aware of time. Except for the moments when we roll around on the bed or the floor, tickling, laughing, cuddling, kissing then I’m completely lost in that moment.
Everything takes longer with babies, so you have to leave plenty of time before an appointment or just meeting a friend, as anything could happen.
You take short phone calls and quickly send WhatApp messages, so your baby has your attention. You try to stay off your phone/iPad/laptop as you don’t want them to be exposed to too much screen time, in the hope they will not be one that screams for your device instead of enjoying being a child.
I love and strongly believe in gentle and attachment parenting, but it has its limitations.
I don’t know about you but I live in a state of constant hurry, slight anxiety, always thinking: how long do I have before my baby needs picking up? Playing with? Feeding? Until he is unsettled in his carrier, while doing absolutely anything except giving him my undivided attention.
I struggle to keep eye contact with friends and family while chatting as I’m watching my baby is OK and not crawling out the cafe or eating someone’s shoe!
Time to do daily chores can be hard, but the hardest for me personally is ‘me time’. I will confess I’ve always been a busy person, typical London girl, socialising, a new hobby, new project. I also love researching like a geek and am a total social media freak.
Plus there is the down time. I miss reading a book, doing yoga, mediating, watching my latest Netflix addiction, scrolling through Instagram, laying in bed all day day dreaming! Yes I can still do all these things but only in short pockets of time.
But as we know time doesn’t wait and soon my son will be grown. He too will want his own time.
The scales will tip I’m afraid and it will be me wanting his attention and him wanting ‘me time’.
So I’ll just take my time, enjoying my time with my baby boy and remind myself to go slow and be present. Live in the moment, holding my baby in my arms.
As one day he will be too big for me to carry.
And this time I’ll never get back.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life. Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion.” – The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
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