Want to know WTF a Woke Mama is? Each week, we’re introducing awesome women who are making the world a kinder place, one happy baby at a time.
Name & age: Remi, 25
Baby: Rudy, 2 years
How did you end up doing gentle parenting?
Gentle parenting was something that just came naturally to me. Though quite quickly after giving birth I realised that my methods weren’t considered the norm; I was continuously being told to put my son down (otherwise I’d “spoil” him), to schedule breastfeeds instead of feeding on demand, and co-sleeping was a giant no no. And the big one “you’re STILL breastfeeding!?”
Of course I ignored all of the unsolicited advice, but realising the way I mothered wasn’t considered normal was what led me to research more deeply into the psychology and developmental/emotional benefits of gentle parenting.
This completely solidified my choice to raise my son in an attached and conscious way.
What does being a woke mama mean to you?
It’s the most important job in the world.
It means stepping outside of my comfort zone, growing and learning alongside my son, being present and studying my thought processes and emotions – in terms of how they’ll influence my son throughout his life.
It means mourning old habits that don’t serve my new role as “mother”. It’s self-realisation, acceptance, forgiveness, picking yourself up and trying again, it’s evolving and adapting – it’s everything.
Most awesome moment so far?
My proudest moment was succeeding in breastfeeding against all odds. My milk coming in on day 5 (I was never taught/didn’t read that it could take that long), cracked bleeding nipples, clogged ducts, mastitis, unbearable pain, being hospitalised after the mastitis turned septic.
And repeatedly, REPEATEDLY being told to just give up and use formula (not that there’s anything wrong with that) it just wasn’t what I’d dreamed for myself and my son.
Also after being medicated for hyperemesis during my pregnancy, and then undergoing a c-section, I was left feeling like my body couldn’t do anything the natural way. So I was determined that my body was going to provide my son with breastmilk.
And here we are still breastfeeding 2 years on, my son is thriving, and I plan to let him self-wean on his terms.
Biggest struggle so far? How do you cope with stressful moments?
My biggest struggle so far has been dealing with post-natal anxiety. Being overwhelmed with the desire to protect my son from everything (environmental toxins being a big trigger- amongst many other things) alongside the realisation that it just isn’t possible.
It was a hard pill to swallow, and it’s been a journey, but I’ve learned to take one day at a time and be as present as possible, living each moment in love and gratitude.
Any advice you would give to new mums?
My advice for new mums would be to go easy on yourself, and practice the art of letting go. You’re going to need it.
I think a lot of us go into parenthood with great expectations – about ourselves, about our children, and about the way life will be post baby. But that almost always blows up in our faces, life is not perfect, parenthood is not perfect.
But it doesn’t make it any less beautiful. You’re going to realise you’re not the perfect mother that you dreamed you were going to be – but that’s OK, you’re JUST who your baby needs you to be.
What’s on your soundtrack to your first year of being a Woke Mama?
Imogen Heap – Tiny Human
Follow this warrior mama Remi on the gram @Mamaclog
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